February 23 2012

I've been on the road and out of the office for work recently, and trying to do this from a phone, or some "business center" is a pain in the ass.  I'm blown away by the sheer (and growing) numbers of viewers and I'm gratified that people care enough about the state of the comments on Deadspin to read a secondhand account of what made one person laugh on a given day.

For context, the past few weeks, I'm averaging 350 pageviews per day, which is surprising that I don't have any jump pages and very few comments. The average daily audience is right around 500, and at any given moment I have 20-30 people browsing around, a number which skyrockets every evening. I have regular readers from the US, Canada, UK, Russia, Mexico, Germany, South Korea, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Bangladesh, Ukraine, Jordan, Cayman Islands, Norway and Denmark.

I feel lame letting this go to seed, but I'm not getting any less busy at work, and this is just another thing to devote time to, no matter how enjoyable. I truly liked doing this, sincerely appreciate the patronage, and will (probably) pick it up again in the future.  I'm just not really able to do it the way I'd like now.

Now for the important stuff:

As you can tell, I care a great deal about the comment section, and relish the opportunity to sometimes be a part of it, and to enjoy what the commenters provide. There are so, so many good comments dropped on any given day on Deadspin, that it is hard to pick the ones that I post here. As I said a while back, if I didn't feature your comment (that may have been the belle of the ball in a thread) don't despair - we all know how good it was.  I didn't expect, when reading with these eyes to have so many unstarred and less-known commenters surprise me with what they brought. Granted, there are certain recognizable commenters who, day in and day out, show tremendous wit, creativity and intelligence, and I applaud them for their exceptional talent and dedication. There are others who dip their toe in now and then with inconsistent success, and some who only rarely hit the sweet notes. Regardless, the comment section reads best when there are a number of voices, with their own unique angles and perspectives taking cracks at jokes.

Be generous with your support of new commenters. Be forgiving and look past biases or dislikes, and give credit and reward where it is due, no matter if you found the commenter bad, or tiresome in the past. Lead by example, but offer positive feedback and encouragement. There are well-regarded, funny commenters among you (who may be on their first or their fourth screen name) who bombed when they started.  If they'd be aggressively drummed out of the place, we'd be poorer for it.

I'll be back soon, but I have some dragons to put to bed.

Keep kicking ass.

February 20 2012

See you all tomorrow!

February 17 2012

Radon Zeppelin That's pretty good.
IMG A bit of work, but I laughed.
Miles Long I snickered a little.
Walk Off HBP I don't think there's anything close to a punchline here, but I'm definitely laughing at it.
This whole thing was a ridiculous diversion. Liked it.
Eddie Murray Sparkles Pushing the Lin puns to the max.
Robot Jerry Rice Not bad at all.
Robot Jerry Rice again The perfect joke for that setup. Really good.
Same Sad Echo
Post ApocalypticRecSpecs
Same Sad Echo

xxxxxxxxxx

LAIceBurg This isn't the worst joke in the world, but, really? Another MSG and Asian food pun? You can do better, I'm sure of it!
Inferior League Uh, ok.
SkaHimself Awesome, bro.
5Hole

February 16 2012

Raysism That's quite a catch.
Lionel Osbourne
Norm DePlume Eh, I'm not proud that this made me giggle as much as it did.
[person]'s [thing]
Fat-leaveher
Radon Zeppelin HA!
David Hume  Simple, accurate and effective.
Captain Homeless  Not necessarily a hilarious joke, but I liked this comment.
Taco Mailman
Lionel Osbourne and Arthur Digby Sellers played well together.
Can I Borrow A Feeling Nice misdirection.
Raysism
Arthur Digby Sellers That is funny.
Toronto Maple Beef Great wordplay.



----------------
TonyM
This whole thing was annoying.
As was this.
And this.
PSAMP This is really disappointing.

February 15 2012

Pos:
The Iowa Hawkeyes post this morning was hilarious, especially so for the pink comments.The very first comment on the article was pink, and did nothing to indicate the shitstorm of idiocy about to be let loose: 
MadOx75 Wed 15 Feb 2012 10:00 AM *applauds the last paragraph*

What followed was this (or some version) over and over and over:  

bmahlerWed 15 Feb 2012 10:36 AM "so for all intensive purposes this story is over. But I'm still harping on "pre Madonna." I know that on the internet, garbled idioms are a diamond dozen, so maybe I shouldn't poke fun." No you shouldn't, since the phrase is "intents and purposes", not "intensive purposes"

The Ninja's work there was delicious.

The SI hashtag post had a ton of great comments, too. No time! Never any time!'s comment was great and had a nice bit of synergy with his username. Sgt. Hammerclaw killed it. Just excellent.

SteveU This is outstanding.
Almost everything in the half-head guy post was good. Such red meat for the hyenas. The Amazing Sneijederman and Can I Borrow A Feeling and Gamboa Constrictor did well there.
Dr. Spaceman Esq. approved jferanda on a comment that made me snicker, too. Well done all around.
Raysism
Bronze Hammer Pointed.
Mattinglys Sideburns Oh, I love that.
I'd gotten used to being annoyed with Medicated World Peace but this little off-kilter line made me laugh.
Radon Zeppelin

I'm not sure how I feel about this Lord Comment thing that someone is doing. I'm of the mind that playing it straight and actually making jokes is the real work, and any dick can sit back and throw stones (yeah, I know) but with his comment here, Lord Comment fired some sharp commentary on the never ending use of that particular joke template, which, when used straight up and without any tweaks is pretty tired. Lord Comment's schtick, while peevish and occasionally annoying isn't particularly threatening or aggressive, like some vigilante "Street Justice" things in the past. It works as much as it does for making you snicker at how obvious and lame his joke is, and think, with a shiver, "do I sound like that?" I hope he doesn't overdo it and makes it work for a little while longer.

Neg:
Can I Borrow A Feeling
More Feeling being Borrowed.
Constipated World Peace ARGH!
Crack Rockies  Dumbass.
SAN-dusky!

February 14 2012

♥ Always Winning
Hatey McLife
SteveU
ClueHeywood
Mmole
TDK
Brando
WhatWouldTebowDo
Raysism 
UniversalEnvelopingAlgebra  Ok, I wasn't planning to add any embellishment to any of the comments I featured today, but this made me snort with laughter for reasons I cannot explain. It's sort of clumsy, a little bit of a stretch, and delivered with an obtuseness that has me in stitches. Dammit.
Eddie Murray Sparkles
Lionel Osbourne
AOBTS That was a lot of work, but it was good.
fat-leaveher
snoop-a-loop

*****
There was plenty that was justifiably ninja'd. Good work.
David Oliver .
JimmyDTU
Bob Sacamano  - this is like an unironic, non-gimmick version of what that Lord Comment dude is doing.
Snarky As was this.

February 13 2012

Up:
Clue Heywood God-damn.
RMJ=H I rolled my eyes at this while laughing. This is so right up RMJ's alley.
More RMJ=H
Lionel Osbourne
Reverse Ape Chemist
Eddie Murray Sparkles That's an amazing get.

Down:
For every 1 good joke related to something Jeremy Lin, there are 5 bad ones. How many dumb puns playing on words like "slant," "yellow" etc or tiresome rehashes of stereotypes like little weiners and slanted eyes must we suffer through? These "jokes" aren't even clever in reworking or turning the stereotype on its head in an unexpected way, or doing anything sophisticated with it beyond making fun of someone for being Asian. I get it, the novelty of seeing an Asian person play basketball has blown all of our minds. People are so desperate to mine this epic vein of comedy (sarcasm!) that people are even unironically using Pearl Harbor and "eats dogs" (hint: those references apply to Japan and Korea, not Taiwan) as gimmicks to set up jokes. What's next, a joke tying Jeremy Lin and the killing fields or agent orange together?
Pointing out that Jeremy Lin is Taiwanese, or merely observing that he may or may not share unflattering physical, economic or social characteristics with others isn't, by itself funny. Remember when we all laughed at this joke: "Hey, didja hear about that black guy? He's black!"  I didn't think so.  This isn't an issue of offendedness or political correctness, it's an issue of laziness and stupidity.
Boo.  Boo this joke, and other cheap ones like it.
Oof.  Stop it.


For your interest: a fragment of an unpleasant pink comment from the Jerry Sandusky post in which the author, who has seen too many "Saw" movies shares a bizarre, disturbing prison fantasy:

"He ain't going nowhere and perhaps he'll do the right thing and end it all if indeed he's guilty as charged. Can't do THAT being babysat at the county medium security lockup, the LAST THING lefties want criminals to do is KILL THEMSELVES.
After all, why not give each one a steak knife on a short linked chain inside their cells, and hope each one cuts their wrists and throats by the end of the week as a better way. Give em the choice at least.. and get the illegals some interpreters to give them the heads up on what they're there for. Wanna be equal opportunity now. ;)"

February 10 2012

I have the day off, so I won't be doing a normal post today.

I didn't like:
That flopping post was just a shitstorm of trite wordplay puns and predictable Visanthe Shiancoe-type remarks. Blech.
Dumbass A "/shits pants" comment? A lovely ode to Letich-era Deadspin. Well done. Nah, I'm kidding, you suck, dude.
Original!

Bye for  now.

February 9 2012

Pluses
Brando Wow. This is a gross, funny, creative joke. Too bad it came in close to noon in the day's first post. There were other very good jokes in that post, but none that made me involuntarily cough when I read them. +1.
Norm DePlume I'm surprised this didn't get any love.
Noir Juggling  That's a smart joke. Tyler Bray's Back Tattoo followed up with a decent reply.
In Re Hightower  Man, that's great. Every time I go back and re-read the joke, I laugh out loud, and hear the song in my head. The fact that he called the waiter's foil a "Big Wig" is funny by itself. He earned every one of those +1s, and showed that you don't need to be a frequent commenter to be a prominent commenter. Comment of the day.
ReverseApeChemist I know just enough rasslin to know that was a clever joke. RAC is going from flying under the radar to flying, um, in the middle of the radar, I guess.
Universal Enveloping Algebra  and Lionel Osbourne took different, funny exits off of the same road. I liked both of them. UEA's line wasn't really a joke, but a funny, snide and pointedly on-point observation. Lionel went with the simple throwback one-liner.Very nice.
Delonte, Interrupted
Azure Texan  Ba-dum-tiss.
TheodoreDonaldKerabatsos [dying]

Minuses
Neither am I, man.
Cool inside knowledge, bro.
Hey Look! Nickly made a shitty joke, and then turned it into some quasi political correctness free speech thing. Maybe Nickly will appreciate that Article 1 Section 1 of the Deadspin Constitution says "Be funny, don't  be unfunny" and subsequent amendments have clarified that to mean that you should offer funny, smart and original comments. [edit] I see that Chief Justice John Paul Ninja wrote a scathing opinion. Nice.
Oh dear. What is happening here?
Super.

Special feature:
Today's Vancoq Setatesties Painful Comment Of The Day is sponsored by all-new Habanero-Infused Astroglide Inferno.
"Astroglide Inferno: Like Vancoq Setatesties, a pain in the dick."

Vancoq, let's see what you've got: VANCOQ!  Ooooooh, that's a bad one!

So long.

February 8 2012

Pleasure:
Maverick Is Airborne Opened with something worthwhile.
Eddie Murray Sparkles A favorite target, hit with a clever attack.
More EMS
Lionel Osbourne  Groan.
Steve U This made me sort of sad, and made me laugh too.
Forest Thrills This was good.
Brechty Jesus, it took Barry P to promote this? This was great.
Ron Zook On Red Bull  Sort of dumb, but then, I am too.
RMJ=H I'm a sucker for silly.
Let's play compare and contrast with FlakJack and StripMcNealy.
Gamboa Constrictor  That's a funny angle to the story.

Purgatory:
I've been righteously freaking the fuck out about Sandusky attribution jokes, and I was ready to rip my shirt off and punch a brick wall when I saw this, but... it actually has a scintilla of merit. It is relevant to and effectively plays on the facts of the Sandusky case and the contours of post at hand and is more than just a "I ♥ Buttholes! Signed, Jerry Sandusky." joke. Ok then.

Pain:
Bleahford Buford has internalized his identity as Deadspin's least effective commenter, and is just running with it.
Ultra fuckhead. 100% raw , organic, unfiltered, unprocessed, not-from-concentrate fuckhead. Reagent-grade fuckhead.  If we were going to find our planets purest fuckhead to engrave on a gold disk to be shot into outer space for aliens to find, it would be this.
Huh?  What the fuck is this shit?

Fuck it, I'm out of here.

February 7 2012

Clinton Portishead Dirty, creative, off-kilter. Laughed out loud.
Steve U If you came to this joke, without having read the prior post, you might not find it as funny. Seeing how the Canadian superbowl ad post was the one just before this, and it was fresh in my head, I got a real laugh out of this.
♥ Always Winning and AzureTexan had a smart little exchange.
Scientific Mapp hit the bullseye.
The golf course assault post was a goldmine. So many good jokes. Rubio (For Her Pleasure)  and Eddie Murray Sparkles made me wince, David Hume, Gamboa Constrictor and Raysism concocted funny little lines. 
Puffy Taco  Oh man, I laughed hard at that. So perfectly vulgar; just a wild-ass swing from the heels.
Gamboa Constrictor Beauty.
RonZookOnRedbull hit the nail on the head perfectly here. On point, and accurate.



Stink:

AnonymousCraponymous I'm completely bored with tacking a Jerry Sandusky-related attribution on to every vaguely sexual remark. They're the equivalent of saying "THAT WHAT SHE SAID!," at every opportunity except with even less potential for laughs. A Jerry Sandusky attribution, in the right place, at the right time could be a massive hit, but it seems like every time there is a post with any reference to a shower, a child, or the words "penetration," "hole," "slap" etc. some walleyed whack-off trips over himself to vomit out "JERRRRRYYYY SANDUUUUUSKYYY!!!!"
VanderlerpSmergmatron There are SH Cho jokes to be made, and this is just a crude grab at what was, unfortunately, not a live high tension wire.
bdan It's about you not getting it. That's what it's about.
This headache.
Minus one I hope Malik Sealy didn't hurt his finger jabbing his Instajoke machine's "create joke" button.

I hope you all have a great afternoon.

February 6 2012

All Over But The Sharting No one will ever accuse AOBTS of being simplistic in his approach, but then again, no one will ever accuse AOBTS of farting out word salad and hoping something sticks. This joke poked a needle in the over-inflatedness of the original post (a post I really liked, and agreed with) but did so with suggestion, a funny reductio ad absurdum extension of the mathematicising (yes, it's a word) of the NFL, and by referencing the stereotype of Tom Coughlin's personality.
Raysism chose the exact wording of this joke to incorporate the song reference and the implications thereof and not just jump up and down hollering "HEY, look at the connection I thought of!" I could imagine Norm MacDonald reading this with a straight face on Weekend Update.
More Raysism  Boy, he was feeling his oats today.
Washington Foreskins This is an example of a comment that transcends wordplay, or gimmickry, and shines with creativity and voice. It reveals the gag early on, and uses the readers acknowledgement of the twist to build laughs as the joke flows and piles on. Nice. SteveU got me laughing in this post, too. Such a nasty little observation.
ReverseApeChemist A most Deadspin comment. Punny, zinger-ish and referencing the intersection of sports and pop culture. RMJ=H played on the same concept, and in some ways, needled Tebow and the NFL even more effectively. I liked both of these.
crazyjoedavola cjd has been around since day 2 of Deadspin, if not day 1. I was glad to see him get restarred whenever he did. That sappy shit out the way, this was a fantastic comment. It didn't piss on Amar'e's situation or the tragedy itself. In many ways, it was everything that is good about Deadspin's comments - it took a chance in a delicate situation, wasn't another insipid "My Sympathies" or some ghoulish shock trash, and was funny! Plus one.
Iron Mike Gallego Nailed it.
Bring Back Anthony Mason I didn't want to like this as much as I did. The "Eli as naive goofball" bit has been squeezed so hard for so long, we can start see the copper under the chrome plating. BBAM's closing line of "Eli, to himself, softly: I'm the King!" gave the joke, and his "Eli" character an endearing gentleness that made it charming and funny.
Sponsored By V8 I feel like I'm pointing out the obvious here, but this was great.
Eddie Murray Sparkles Skimming through the comments on Deadspin will result in you shrugging and saying "I didn't see anything that funny. What's the deal?"  Take the time to read carefully.
TheAmazingSneijderman I love Macbeth. Maybe I'm being generous based on my personal likes. So be it.
 MarkKelsosMigraine


This whole mess falls on both sides of the line. -1 to TV's Frank for being a real-life red shirt guy, and +1 to MopUpReliever for his remark.

Annoying:

This was annoying.
You always what? What did you always?
Thanks, Ninja!
Remember that person who like, did something that time? Here's what I imagine they might say.
FloriTexaYork That's a grade-A asshole comment, fella. Funny, people lament the passing of the "good old days" of Deadspin, and how precious the comments were back... whenever. They grouse about how the site became coarse and crass and hard. The odd thing is, comments like that were dime a dozen in those days, and no one blinked an eye.  It's weird how memory is so malleable, isn't it?
Terrell_Browens That's every bit as artless as you'd expect from someone named "Terrell Browens."
MarkKelsosMigraine

Peace.

February 6 2012 - programming note

Note: Today was a giant clusterfuck.

I'll see if I can get something up later.

For the time being, here's a video about cuttlefish.

February 3 2012

Enjoyable:
Universal Enveloping Algebra If I remember correctly, a while back Universal Enveloping Algebra expressed slight annoyance at the comment section's focus on jokes, and claimed not to be a funny guy. At first I believed him, but recently, I've come to believe that he was lying to us, or underestimated his ability to adapt. If UEA had misspelled the name on purpose, and used it to make the joke he did, in that manner (the recontextualizing existing text), I think we'd have all yawned. Instead, he not only caught the misspelling*, but used it to craft a funny concept that relied on the non news-ness of the item, and the inherent silliness of Archie having an illegitimate Laotian love child who happened to almost share a name with his famous brother.  +1
DandyAndyMoog
Usually, when a post falls under the Jurisprudence tag, I anticipate good comments. Not that law-based jokes are inherently funny, but they provide a familiar box of references that commenters can twist into setups and punchlines. The commentariat's general familiarity with the subject matter means that these posts are usually winners. Sure enough, TDK, Hatey McLife, Orin Incandeza, MILF Hunter, Sonar Jose and David Hume took advantage and dropped some gems. Hatey's comment was stellar.
RMJ=H Wow, this is good.
The tattoo helmet joke brought out some good work. ptmarion's joke was not the most sophisticated thing in the world, but sometimes simple and to the point works great, as further evidenced by sweatingmullets' Dangerfield-ish line and vodkanaut's little tossed-off remark.  (Metaphor alert): Obviously, some epic mindmelting and devastatingly perfect joke that goes 65 yards for a TD is great, and the crowd goes nuts; a load of well-run 7 yard screens and slants are really important in keeping a drive alive, too.
Azure Texan 
Hugesunglasses This isn't the sort of comment you read twice to let the exquisitely-constructed association sink in slowly, this was just a nasty, perfectly targeted bit of sarcasm.
UniversalEnvelopingAlgebra and Azure Texan saw similar things, and made jokes that, while related, didn't step all over each other. Liked both of them.

Underwhelming:
Buford Justice Not only was a Civil War reference the lowest of the low-hanging fruit here, Buford mangled it.
HeathenKiller  Yawn.
Vancoq Sweilrnsljenhsaeoith The whole "looks around for ninjas" thing is just an admission that you're about to post shit. I don't think the ninjas are hunting people for sport, they're dropping hammers on lame comments. If you have to worry about offending them, you already know you're... Jesus, do I really need to explain this?
Funnyinmyhead A swing and a miss.

*Can you imagine if that had been a Gizmodo or i09 post? Instead of using it to everyone's advantage (i.e. making a joke), there would be some unfunny, piss-on-the-post, self-congratulatory "Hey look, you screwed  up! #corrections" nonsense.

 The weekend is here!

February 2 2012

Junkyard Psycho and Sgt. Hammerclaw both hit home with "It's funny because it is true" type remarks.
Britt_Pollack Oh man, this got me laughing. I'm so, so glad that Sponsored by V8 promoted this.
ReverseApeChemist  Continuing my unofficial inadvertent theme of highlighting unstarred folks today, RAC's contribution here was just ridiculous enough to make me smile out loud.
BronzeHammer As someone who excitedly read Dean Koontz books in middle school, I winced and then laughed at this random zap.
BronzeHammer This is just a funny straightforward comment on what anyone who has ever played fantasy anything has experienced.
Gamboa Constrictor made me laugh with this re-imagining of Brian Cashman as this rogue horndog writing random reference letters, sort of like the gimmick a while back of Bob Costas blurbing everything, no matter how bad.
Sponsored by V8 This comment made me laugh out loud. Not the first time I read it - I was like "blah blah, A-Rod likes 'em burly, whatever" but I read it again, and found myself imagining actually finding a Hustler in an airplane seat pocket, and having it scribbled up with weird shit, like 6-pack abs and "bulging lats" (an inherently funny turn of phrase), and feeling confusion, annoyance and amusement; I don't know if that was exactly what SBV8 was going for, but it had that effect on me, and I loved it.
More SBV8  That's freaking great.
Scientific Mapp Any joke that can make me go "Oh Man!" out loud gets my attention. +1
MantisTobogganM.D.  This took me a second to get. Subtle. Love it.


The Bad:

You know, maybe I just got hit in the head too many times, but there weren't many comments that made silently yell "OH, COME ON!" Sure, some were less great than others, but, in keeping with the Ice Cube-iness of the week, today was a good day.


Take it easy.

February 1 2012

TorontoMapleBeef It's funny the power of preconceived notions - I had gotten used to seeing Toronto Maple Beef's name and glossing over the comment, having penciled in a "C+" next to it. He has started dropping a number of comments considerably better than "C+". This wasn't a grand slam of a remark, but it was every bit as good as those left by starred commenters in that post. Nice going, and keep it up.
More Beef  This is good too!
RubioForHerPleasure This is good. Star this person, already.
FreemanMcNeil
Clinton Portishead was 3 minutes behind Washington Foreskins in getting to the "motor" joke, but Clinton's more efficient setup gave him the edge - Foreskins' setup was wordier, and played off the actual phrase "high motor" a phrase which NFL analysts beat into our heads in connection to Jared Allen. Clinton left us to do a little more work, and instead of just referencing the phrase "motor," put the that phrase to work in the service of taking a shot at Beasley. Advantage: Clinton Portishead.
SteveU SteveU's comments have excellent comedic construction. In this case, he saves the punch line for the last possible moment, after priming us with the first sentence. This particular joke was a straightforward setup/knockdown that, in a context about fishing and writing, referenced a mystery novel gimmick (the red herring) to perfection. Not only did he recognize the excellent punch line significance of "red herring," he packaged it great. SteveU is an example of a commenter who has been around a long time, and has evolved his voice and grown from using recontextualized text from the article (which is perfectly fine, btw) to making "whole cloth" jokes and more. I hate to be just another person blowing more sunshine up his ass, but he really does it well.
More SteveU  Oh man, that's sad. And funny.
OwenGood Pithy, terse, good.
More Owen Good  - A Kotaku editor coming over to Deadspin and making good jokes? I fucking love it.
BevrajOfChoice and Sonar Jose and BringBackAnthonyMason and TheAmazingSneijderman made me laugh in the SPFL post.
[person]'s [thing]  That's so preposterous.
Eddie Murray Sparkles  This needed more love.
Sponsored by v8  Oh. Man. This is really insensitive, raw and in horrible taste, and it was dead fucking on. Bullseye.

Curiosities: SnarkyCianfrocco Are we grading on a curve? Is the fact that this joke was actually competent, compared to the rest of this guy's usual shit what prompted his starring?  Sheesh.

No, thanks:
SnarkyCianfrocco What? Huh? This is nothing more than a rephrasing of "Hey, that Chad McGhee guy that Hickey posts is pretty loony, huh?"
OccupyDS  ???
ErikTheRed  So much for common sense.
Maverick Is Airborne  What the hell is this, Maverick?
Yuck there is a huuuuuge difference between this and SB v8's joke above here. Jesus. If I have to explain what the difference is, you'll never understand.  God, that is uncool.

I'm done for the day, so enjoy.

Programming Note. 2-1-2012

Hi.

To respond to some recent emails, and less recent comments:

1.) Yes, I'm aware of the conversation going on at another Deadspin-related blog, and no, I'd prefer not to weigh in.

2.) I'm not in any way competing with or trying to outdo anyone else's production; I'm not ignoring or spurning anyone, just doing my own thing.

3.) To the people who offered support, thanks, I appreciate it. To the couple of people who told me I suck, thanks for reading. To the person who actually threatened me, I'm hoping you make it through your time of distress OK.

Thanks again

January 31 2012

Good:

Iron Mike Gallego and Kramerica Enterprises shared a moment. Some people get hot and bothered by someone responding to a joke with a joke, or something other than a +1. Yes, a response that "explains" the joke sucks, as does a response that just retells the original joke - that's nothing but a grab at some reflected glory. This was closer to the construction of a comedy pyramid, a revered Deadspin tradition.

Sgt. Hammerclaw made me laugh with his iteration of this joke template. The work the commenter does in building the setup (for this) is crucial. If the commenter blows it by going all in with strictly sexual or strictly basketball terminology, the joke is stillborn. Getting it right requires the right blend of plausible double entendre phrasing so that the basketball terms snap into place as sexual terms when the twist (that Boeheim's recruiting is misdirected toward a players' skillset in boning his assistant's wife) is revealed. Honestly, you can see this joke coming from a mile away - the underlying facts and the construction are a dead giveaway for the punchline- but Sgt. Hammerclaw treats it with a delicate touch and lets it breathe.

This joke template sets up well as a good anti-joke, too:

Reporter: Coach Boeheim, what attributes do you value most when evaluating recruits?

Boeheim: First, it's all about the cock. We want guys who are hung, and who are willing to sacrifice their dignity for the best interests of Bernie Fine's wife's snatch. We also look for players with high sex drives. I want guys who aren't afraid to get down and dirty and lick a clit for forty-five minutes at a time. Finally, and probably most importantly, I look for guys who can pound it deep like a goddamn Oklahoma oil well... etc

Reporter: Thanks. Now what do you look for when you are evaluating them on the court?

Boeheim: Good question. Give me a minute to think about it.

To make a joke like that requires making the framework of the joke the joke itself, and tweaking the reader's expectations of how this joke should go - it works even better when the reader is savvy and expects for the basketball terms to be reframed as sex terms. Definitely aiming for laughs from the back of the room.

Captain Homeless

Raysism 

PostApocalypticRecSpecs  - Pretty silly, but it made me smile.

Bevraj of Choice and fat-leaverher  made some beautiful noise in the Sandusky post.

RonZookOnRedBull The Zooker is a regular on both sides of the line, here. He's got spunk.As long as he keeps showing up, up here, things are good. 

[person]'s [thing]  This was a good throwaway line. Not even a little love?  Huh.

Junk.

What the fuck is this shit? I think there is plenty of room for debate and reasonable discussion in amongst the dick jokes, but the moment this guy cops the #deadspinfail attitude he deserves a boot in the groin.

ThisIsTheSpam (Edit) the Ninja zapped him. Yay.

January 30 2012

StevD Bone dry. This reads like what the focus group that came up with the design had someone say in some dipshit marketing role-playing exercise.
PostApocalypticRecSpecs  Tightly packaged line. Not an ounce of flab on this one.
Bevraj Of Choice
SteveU I was really hoping that someone would give that angle the treatment it deserved, and not make some shithead remark better suited to a bumper sticker on the back of a rusty '88 F-150 with Arkansas plates.  SteveU made it work.
CliffLevingstonIPresume Beautiful.
Clinton Portishead This was the sort of joke that invited some tool to chime in with a reply that explains the joke. I'm glad that hasn't happened.
MaverickIsAirborne Two really funny shots at New Jersey in  row.


I didn't see a lot that made me jump out of my chair today. Meh was in the air.


KidCanada -1
FloriaTexaYork Hey, look, you're reposting something that you reposted from another blog the other night.  In all fairness, that's a great thing for DUAN, but not elsewhere.
Kinky Kylie This is the stupidest thing I read all day.
RandomHookup Ha, just kidding, this was actually even dumber.  Where's the joke? Where's the humor? This is just some mouthbreathing "Herr, she's sitting on a ball! The ball is near her ladyparts and her butt! Butts and 'giners! I SAID BUM-BUMS AND HOO-HAAS!"
Toiletbrain Jones Just when I thought I'd seen the worst, this dipshit goes and shows us how it's really done. A hacky "just the tip" (that was the joke in the headline, asshead) remark, a cheap Jerry Sandusky remark, and a fucking misspelling. I hope this guy gets shot into space.
xoz ????????

Bye.

January 27 2012

Liked:
DubaiAtNight Well done.
Raysism Real simple, and it wouldn't be out of place accompanied by rimshot.wav (in a good way). It made me laugh.
vodkanaut vodkanaut's style of humor comes across to me as silly, lighthearted and implying a certain decency, even when he does take a shot at someone or is being rude. I really enjoy his work.
All Over But The Sharting Nice to see AOBTS popping up here and there again. This is his second excellent 9/11 related joke recently which is sort of a weird coincidence, as his style is not one that relies on tragedy and cringe to work - definitely not his usual bailiwick. Still, it was a typical AOBTS joke, in that the wording was carefully crafted to precisely present the punch line so as to maximize its effect. You just don't see AOBTS slinging slop around.
EddieMurraySparkles Maybe I'm just in a goofball mood, but this construction, and the image of Wheel of Fortune protestors forcing a huffy, indignant Vanna White to get all bent out of shape and tell people to STFU is great.
Steve U I'd expect no less from Steve U. Not funny, but a good catch.
BevrajOfChoice
SponsoredByV8 Pow.
SteveU  How did that not get +1'd? It should have.
BringBackAnthonyMason - Well designed bit of comedy.
David Hume This was cute, and worked well in the context of the post.
Can-I-Borrow-A-Feeling Well, he made it work here. Good stuff.
SameSadEcho Wow, what a comment. That takes you on a trip. Creativity, structure, careful development of a punchline. Great stuff.

Did not like:
"BufordJustice was unstarred" Can't say I disagree with the Ninja's judgement here.
The4thMolinaBrother Because Jerry Sandusky likes boys. Noted.
DonCherry'sHockeySchtick You'd think the utter lack of responses these comments get would clue these idiots in that they're just not funny. Seriously, tell me what is funny about that comment - a box cover of some movie? The pic on the box cover isn't even a funny picture or a call back to a funny line in a show.  Ugh. I wish his computer would short our for posting that.
RonZookOnRedbull That's first-degree word torturing.
cobra, brah! This makes no sense. Yes, Mike and Molly are husky. One, they're supposed to be, and two, it's partly makeup, you know? Craft Services has nothing to do with anything. This is just some out-of-the blue shot at fat people, and a TV show. It's like an intentionally-bad parody of an MKM joke.  Cobra has gotten some love here, recently, and this is disappointing.
AzureTexan Really, AT? That's not funny, that's attention whoring.
MalikSealyDirtMattress Huh? Is he calling Victor Cruz a "Cari-beaner?" in the service of what can barely be called a carabiner "joke"? Jesus H. Christ, what a stretch.


Today started slow, and there was a lot of "B" material in the morning. The Blood Week post seemed to mark the turning point, and the posts seemed to have better comments as the day went on.

Have a good weekend.

January 26 2012

Lionel Osbourne Starting the day off with a laugh.
Lionel Osbourne  This isn't groundbreaking territory, but the delivery made me snort when I read it.
More Lionel Lionel was on a tear today.
RonZookOnRedBull  Nice tweak on that saying.
SteveU
SteveU This is so great. It has color, atmosphere, a rhythm and texture. And it made me laugh.
SponsoredbyV8 I didn't laugh so much as I smirked and nodded. This was sharp, cutting criticism, tied into the post at hand, and delivered well. It is the sort of comment that distances Deadspin from any other sports-y blog's comment section (and the comment section of most other blogs of any genre). Some people have criticised Deadspin comments as being gratuitously clever, or brainy or (gasp) elitist (in that lowest-common-denominator shit, like posting the "dat ass" meme, is frowned on).  Those people are simply wrong, and can go back to watching Two and A Half men. SponsoredbyV8 has been riding high recently, and a number of his good comments aren't wild bring-down-the-house jokes, but just good, funny comments.
MaverickIsAirborne Zing.
David Hume Pure silliness.
The football lies post was awesome. Such red meat for the commentariat. I'm not going to list every comment that was a winner because there were a ton, by stars and non-stars alike.  I'll list just a couple as representative of the overall high quality of the comments made:
RMJ=H Two winners in the same thread.
Sonar Jose Deadly accurate.
The Hooters to Welker Connection post had more than it's share of gold, too:
EddieMurraySparkles and SteveU earned some praise.
MedicatedWorldPeace That's just perfect commentary on Coach K.
HitBullWinSteak I'm reading this as coarse commentary on Nike's inexorable invasion of and commercialization of every fucking niche under the sun, and how the architect of that same corporate ethos would absolutely use Joe Paterno's funeral to introduce a new product. Made me laugh no matter how it was intended.

The crud (a relatively crud free day?):
UpstateUnderdog Underdog just doesn't get what people do in those threads, does he? I'm not sure I've ever seen him make an actual funny joke. There are 20 unstarred commenters who try harder and deliver better than him.
BigIrishPotato Sad, really.
Canabian

Early delivery, today. Enjoy!

January 25 2012

Cheers:
Econdave This comment had a lyrical lilt to it that pleased me.
TorontoMapleBeef
Delonte,Interrupted
SteveU
DanteBichette'sPeak Man, that's good.
Iron Mike Gallego This is just wonderful. +1.
Raysism Carefully measured vulgarity, well executed. Nicely done.
Meanwhile, Bill James... This is the comment of my day. I'm still dying at this. Just fantastic.  If I could star him on that one joke alone, I would.

Jeers:

Landycakesboss What the fuck, Landycakesboss? Between the stupid stories at night, and the poor comments during the day, I have to ask - how is he a starred commenter? Where did he get his star, was it from Drew in some DHF post? Am I just not "getting" his work?
Oliver_Klozoff  Sigh.
Excuse us? What does this have to to with anyone? I'm not an easily-offended lesbian, I am however, easily offended by brainless comments, like this one. Was there a special on Anne Heche jokes in Tardonia?
Yuck  Importing KSK memes? Being an idiot? This is just mindless screaming and yelling.
Raysism Come on, man, you're better than that!
Also, it appears that ArthurDigbySellers got put in time out. ADS is pretty funny - when he's funny, but he goes after some really tired stuff when he's scrapping, and he's done a lot of that recently.

Finally, I love this article from The Classical. +1, indeed. Here's something else that is awesome from i09:

Some epic jokes and some awful junk probably slipped past. Point it out below, if you'd like.

Till tomorrow.

January 24 2012

The goods:
Sponsored by v8  - Sharp eyes, SbV8.
fat-leaveher
RMJ=H  This joke goes in a couple of different directions at once and uses [dying]'s multiple overlapping significances to great effect. The joke plays on the setup of a doctor asking a rude (or simply insensitive) question based on Paterno's appearance (the joke would work with any number of questions as a setup - that there actually is the resemblance is a tiny little joke-in-itself bonus) and the many meanings of the answer. [Dying] has currency as a possibly unexpected appreciation of the question, a description of his physical state, (and a particularly snarky way to point at it) and most importantly, concurrently pointing to [dying] as a uniquely Deadspin response. It relies on all these meanings operating in unison, and it operates well.
This joke is also unique in it that conjures a movie in your head of Paterno in bed being questioned by a doctor, but relies on text to work.
Finally, this is a Jenga joke. Take out any of the elements of the joke, and it falls apart. It would be tough to consciously assemble a joke with this level of intricacy and precision and, I assume it just popped into RMJ=H's head fully formed, and unfolded like a flower after the fact. +1.
More RMJ=H Everyone and their uncle used that text to make a joke, but RMJ=H's made me laugh the most.
Hit Bull Win Steak A joke that relies on the visual character of the text on the screen, the inherent connections between members of a restricted set, and, uh, cutting off Jerry Sandusky's balls.
A Pimp Named Dave R This is not a joke. It is possibly the least funny comment of the day, but it is not unfunny*. It adds intelligence to and elevates the comment section. I'm glad it is there.
Eddie Murray Sparkles
TravisHalf-Pronk - I'm imagining this being delivered completely deadpan by someone, who immediately moves on.

Of note:
fat-leaveher This kills me to point at this. This comment could have brought the house down. It wasn't unfunny, but, with a different, more artful delivery alluding to the symbolism of how Drake is perceived by his peers and the construction of a Drake's cake, as well as the existing puck reference, it could have been one of the best comments of the day. Argh, so much wasted potential.

The bads:

Ovechkin_from_Backstrom Read the prior comments. Certainly, use the same material, but don't just make the same joke.
*JustTheTippingPoint Now that is unfunny. That is a comment that just reeks of being desperate to say something about a rival school. Its construction is inelegant, it makes a dumb point, talks directly to the audience with that slashie shit at the end, and has a cheap and sneering tone. It is not just not funny, it is unfunny.
Cool Great reference. Remember that thing that was incongruous? Look, here it is. Look!

MedicatedWorldPeace  Wow, they're both "Pollards." Intense analysis. Got anything to say about Guided By Voices, while you're at it?  MedicatedWorldPeace didn't make the worst comment of the day, but this is far, far below the level of a starred commenter. In fact it was almost at tired as StuartScott'sEye's kilt joke. Woo boy, where did he come up with that humdinger?  Guys, do better.

Have a good one.

January 23 2012

Quiet day - where was everyone?
DubaiAtNight This is another one of those comments that takes a bit of random text, uses it out of the context of the original post to try to make something out of nothing. A lot of the time, these efforts fall into the grinding or grasping at straws category. Still, in this comment, it worked. The rest of the construction of the joke - by framing it as a "so ridiculous that it's almost plausible" Cirque du Soleil routine - made me smile. It wasn't a silk purse, but DubaiAtNight made a perfectly usable canvas tote bag from that sow's ear.
RubioForHerPleasure  Now, that's how you reply to a comment!
More Rubio  - This is a nice analogy. This guy is picking his spots.
SameSadEcho I keep saying I'm not wild about the rando-recontextualoso but this one made me smile too. Maybe I like asparagus, after all.
The4thMolinaBrother Zing (Sure, it's possible that Jay wanted a baby, what do I know?.) There were plenty of good jokes in that thread, this was a under appreciated. Decent contact from an unexpected source. The A's should sign him.
GamboaConstrictor I bet that hurt John Edwards' feelings, as it should.
TheodoreDonaldKerabatsos

The "Things That Killed Joe Paterno" post was chock full of fun. My favorite post of the day, comment-wise.
Poignant Theater Gottlieb's Cards Steve U Uwe Bollocks and iamthehorn all did something especially good.

ReverseApeChemist  When ReverseApeChemist is bad, he's terrible. When he's good, he does this. Nice.
Raysism
Steve U  Take one part geekery, one part sports knowledge, one part wordplay. Dissolve it in water, add ammonia, and then add some ether and shake it. Pipette the ether into a dish and let it evaporate. You'll be funny. Maybe not Richard Pryor funny, but close.



Crud:
Not 1, not 2, not 3... Aww man, why'd you have to go and do that? We had hopes for you.
Not 1, not 2, not 3...  I don't want to beat on this guy excessively, but this is just tripe. I think I get what's going on here, that Paterno is dead, and the idiots and jackals need someone - anyone to lash with blame, instead of accepting a less viscerally satisfying explanation.
Fist pound bro.
Boy, I really hope that there's more to this than the fact that the word analyst has "anal" in it. That can't be the joke, can it?

Adios!

January 20 2012

SaveToFavorites - This is a great use of recontextualization - Kobe is a frustrated, homicidal Walter Mitty.
Sponsored by v8
Theodore Donald Kerabatsos It's all about the ludicrous presuppostions in this joke. Inventing facts specifically for the purpose of making a setup fit into a box provided  by a headline or existing text can be a losing proposition, if the "facts" are mundane or trite. This joke takes as fact that there is an island of castrationmonsters, and that there was a resident race of shouty neanderthals. Introducing us to their inevitable, tragic encounter is beautiful in a way that "all the rapsyvoiceans got slaughtered gruesomely, the end" isn't.
Gamboa Constrictor
SameSadEcho SSE keeps it simple, charming, and plays the concerned mother angle beautifully.
Not 1, not 2, not 3... I really like this. This is an example of making a great connection and twisting one of the standard elements of the DHF format to efficiently point to the punchline. He could have just posted a Willy Wonka video clip, and left it at that, and that would have been a goddamn shame.
The Amazing Sneijderman

Lame:
Maybe I'm just a dick, but the comments in this post reminded me of a bunch of frogs leaping over each other on a moving treadmill, expending a lot of energy, but getting nowhere.
Can-I-Borrow-A-Feeling - This wasn't terrible, it's just that this dude drops this style of joke with disappointing regularity, and without the sizzle of a better commenter. Jokes that played off of referencing tragic events went from shocking and fresh, to standard fare, to too-familiar territory. At this point, merely referencing, say, Mike Tyson's daughter's death is just a yawn, and a cheesy one at that. When he's in this groove, CIBAF is little more than a clearance-rack Hatey McLife or Clinton Portishead.
catfish_tx - It honestly would be funnier if he just typed "Michael J Fox" and submitted it. It would still suck as a joke, but the mere existence of it floating out there would be funny. It would be comically bad, not merely tedious.
BigIrishPotato Is this a gimmick account that exists to be cosmically bad? To suck to the depths of suckitude?
gtraindelay  Brilliant. That stupid joke hasn't been made 2 billion times before.
What the fuck is this? A dumb joke, a dumber reply in pink and this BudBowlMVP dope getting involved where he doesn't need to be. How the hell does that loaf have a star?
Should I even bother to point out video clip comments? Is it not blatantly obvious what is crappy about that? Is it still unclear that the Deadspin comment section is a place to showcase your originality and creativity? That they are not a memory contest, or a place to ask "hey remember that time that [x] happened? I do!" or a place to show off something that you found funny?
 I'd love to see a transcript of this conversation between a commenter and the ninja:
"But that's not fair, I'm not good at thinking up my own funny stuff, and I want to participate in MY special little way."
"That's too fucking bad that you're not good at thinking up your own funny stuff. Now, snap your own neck!"

Please have excellent weekends.