January 31 2012

Good:

Iron Mike Gallego and Kramerica Enterprises shared a moment. Some people get hot and bothered by someone responding to a joke with a joke, or something other than a +1. Yes, a response that "explains" the joke sucks, as does a response that just retells the original joke - that's nothing but a grab at some reflected glory. This was closer to the construction of a comedy pyramid, a revered Deadspin tradition.

Sgt. Hammerclaw made me laugh with his iteration of this joke template. The work the commenter does in building the setup (for this) is crucial. If the commenter blows it by going all in with strictly sexual or strictly basketball terminology, the joke is stillborn. Getting it right requires the right blend of plausible double entendre phrasing so that the basketball terms snap into place as sexual terms when the twist (that Boeheim's recruiting is misdirected toward a players' skillset in boning his assistant's wife) is revealed. Honestly, you can see this joke coming from a mile away - the underlying facts and the construction are a dead giveaway for the punchline- but Sgt. Hammerclaw treats it with a delicate touch and lets it breathe.

This joke template sets up well as a good anti-joke, too:

Reporter: Coach Boeheim, what attributes do you value most when evaluating recruits?

Boeheim: First, it's all about the cock. We want guys who are hung, and who are willing to sacrifice their dignity for the best interests of Bernie Fine's wife's snatch. We also look for players with high sex drives. I want guys who aren't afraid to get down and dirty and lick a clit for forty-five minutes at a time. Finally, and probably most importantly, I look for guys who can pound it deep like a goddamn Oklahoma oil well... etc

Reporter: Thanks. Now what do you look for when you are evaluating them on the court?

Boeheim: Good question. Give me a minute to think about it.

To make a joke like that requires making the framework of the joke the joke itself, and tweaking the reader's expectations of how this joke should go - it works even better when the reader is savvy and expects for the basketball terms to be reframed as sex terms. Definitely aiming for laughs from the back of the room.

Captain Homeless

Raysism 

PostApocalypticRecSpecs  - Pretty silly, but it made me smile.

Bevraj of Choice and fat-leaverher  made some beautiful noise in the Sandusky post.

RonZookOnRedBull The Zooker is a regular on both sides of the line, here. He's got spunk.As long as he keeps showing up, up here, things are good. 

[person]'s [thing]  This was a good throwaway line. Not even a little love?  Huh.

Junk.

What the fuck is this shit? I think there is plenty of room for debate and reasonable discussion in amongst the dick jokes, but the moment this guy cops the #deadspinfail attitude he deserves a boot in the groin.

ThisIsTheSpam (Edit) the Ninja zapped him. Yay.

January 30 2012

StevD Bone dry. This reads like what the focus group that came up with the design had someone say in some dipshit marketing role-playing exercise.
PostApocalypticRecSpecs  Tightly packaged line. Not an ounce of flab on this one.
Bevraj Of Choice
SteveU I was really hoping that someone would give that angle the treatment it deserved, and not make some shithead remark better suited to a bumper sticker on the back of a rusty '88 F-150 with Arkansas plates.  SteveU made it work.
CliffLevingstonIPresume Beautiful.
Clinton Portishead This was the sort of joke that invited some tool to chime in with a reply that explains the joke. I'm glad that hasn't happened.
MaverickIsAirborne Two really funny shots at New Jersey in  row.


I didn't see a lot that made me jump out of my chair today. Meh was in the air.


KidCanada -1
FloriaTexaYork Hey, look, you're reposting something that you reposted from another blog the other night.  In all fairness, that's a great thing for DUAN, but not elsewhere.
Kinky Kylie This is the stupidest thing I read all day.
RandomHookup Ha, just kidding, this was actually even dumber.  Where's the joke? Where's the humor? This is just some mouthbreathing "Herr, she's sitting on a ball! The ball is near her ladyparts and her butt! Butts and 'giners! I SAID BUM-BUMS AND HOO-HAAS!"
Toiletbrain Jones Just when I thought I'd seen the worst, this dipshit goes and shows us how it's really done. A hacky "just the tip" (that was the joke in the headline, asshead) remark, a cheap Jerry Sandusky remark, and a fucking misspelling. I hope this guy gets shot into space.
xoz ????????

Bye.

January 27 2012

Liked:
DubaiAtNight Well done.
Raysism Real simple, and it wouldn't be out of place accompanied by rimshot.wav (in a good way). It made me laugh.
vodkanaut vodkanaut's style of humor comes across to me as silly, lighthearted and implying a certain decency, even when he does take a shot at someone or is being rude. I really enjoy his work.
All Over But The Sharting Nice to see AOBTS popping up here and there again. This is his second excellent 9/11 related joke recently which is sort of a weird coincidence, as his style is not one that relies on tragedy and cringe to work - definitely not his usual bailiwick. Still, it was a typical AOBTS joke, in that the wording was carefully crafted to precisely present the punch line so as to maximize its effect. You just don't see AOBTS slinging slop around.
EddieMurraySparkles Maybe I'm just in a goofball mood, but this construction, and the image of Wheel of Fortune protestors forcing a huffy, indignant Vanna White to get all bent out of shape and tell people to STFU is great.
Steve U I'd expect no less from Steve U. Not funny, but a good catch.
BevrajOfChoice
SponsoredByV8 Pow.
SteveU  How did that not get +1'd? It should have.
BringBackAnthonyMason - Well designed bit of comedy.
David Hume This was cute, and worked well in the context of the post.
Can-I-Borrow-A-Feeling Well, he made it work here. Good stuff.
SameSadEcho Wow, what a comment. That takes you on a trip. Creativity, structure, careful development of a punchline. Great stuff.

Did not like:
"BufordJustice was unstarred" Can't say I disagree with the Ninja's judgement here.
The4thMolinaBrother Because Jerry Sandusky likes boys. Noted.
DonCherry'sHockeySchtick You'd think the utter lack of responses these comments get would clue these idiots in that they're just not funny. Seriously, tell me what is funny about that comment - a box cover of some movie? The pic on the box cover isn't even a funny picture or a call back to a funny line in a show.  Ugh. I wish his computer would short our for posting that.
RonZookOnRedbull That's first-degree word torturing.
cobra, brah! This makes no sense. Yes, Mike and Molly are husky. One, they're supposed to be, and two, it's partly makeup, you know? Craft Services has nothing to do with anything. This is just some out-of-the blue shot at fat people, and a TV show. It's like an intentionally-bad parody of an MKM joke.  Cobra has gotten some love here, recently, and this is disappointing.
AzureTexan Really, AT? That's not funny, that's attention whoring.
MalikSealyDirtMattress Huh? Is he calling Victor Cruz a "Cari-beaner?" in the service of what can barely be called a carabiner "joke"? Jesus H. Christ, what a stretch.


Today started slow, and there was a lot of "B" material in the morning. The Blood Week post seemed to mark the turning point, and the posts seemed to have better comments as the day went on.

Have a good weekend.

January 26 2012

Lionel Osbourne Starting the day off with a laugh.
Lionel Osbourne  This isn't groundbreaking territory, but the delivery made me snort when I read it.
More Lionel Lionel was on a tear today.
RonZookOnRedBull  Nice tweak on that saying.
SteveU
SteveU This is so great. It has color, atmosphere, a rhythm and texture. And it made me laugh.
SponsoredbyV8 I didn't laugh so much as I smirked and nodded. This was sharp, cutting criticism, tied into the post at hand, and delivered well. It is the sort of comment that distances Deadspin from any other sports-y blog's comment section (and the comment section of most other blogs of any genre). Some people have criticised Deadspin comments as being gratuitously clever, or brainy or (gasp) elitist (in that lowest-common-denominator shit, like posting the "dat ass" meme, is frowned on).  Those people are simply wrong, and can go back to watching Two and A Half men. SponsoredbyV8 has been riding high recently, and a number of his good comments aren't wild bring-down-the-house jokes, but just good, funny comments.
MaverickIsAirborne Zing.
David Hume Pure silliness.
The football lies post was awesome. Such red meat for the commentariat. I'm not going to list every comment that was a winner because there were a ton, by stars and non-stars alike.  I'll list just a couple as representative of the overall high quality of the comments made:
RMJ=H Two winners in the same thread.
Sonar Jose Deadly accurate.
The Hooters to Welker Connection post had more than it's share of gold, too:
EddieMurraySparkles and SteveU earned some praise.
MedicatedWorldPeace That's just perfect commentary on Coach K.
HitBullWinSteak I'm reading this as coarse commentary on Nike's inexorable invasion of and commercialization of every fucking niche under the sun, and how the architect of that same corporate ethos would absolutely use Joe Paterno's funeral to introduce a new product. Made me laugh no matter how it was intended.

The crud (a relatively crud free day?):
UpstateUnderdog Underdog just doesn't get what people do in those threads, does he? I'm not sure I've ever seen him make an actual funny joke. There are 20 unstarred commenters who try harder and deliver better than him.
BigIrishPotato Sad, really.
Canabian

Early delivery, today. Enjoy!

January 25 2012

Cheers:
Econdave This comment had a lyrical lilt to it that pleased me.
TorontoMapleBeef
Delonte,Interrupted
SteveU
DanteBichette'sPeak Man, that's good.
Iron Mike Gallego This is just wonderful. +1.
Raysism Carefully measured vulgarity, well executed. Nicely done.
Meanwhile, Bill James... This is the comment of my day. I'm still dying at this. Just fantastic.  If I could star him on that one joke alone, I would.

Jeers:

Landycakesboss What the fuck, Landycakesboss? Between the stupid stories at night, and the poor comments during the day, I have to ask - how is he a starred commenter? Where did he get his star, was it from Drew in some DHF post? Am I just not "getting" his work?
Oliver_Klozoff  Sigh.
Excuse us? What does this have to to with anyone? I'm not an easily-offended lesbian, I am however, easily offended by brainless comments, like this one. Was there a special on Anne Heche jokes in Tardonia?
Yuck  Importing KSK memes? Being an idiot? This is just mindless screaming and yelling.
Raysism Come on, man, you're better than that!
Also, it appears that ArthurDigbySellers got put in time out. ADS is pretty funny - when he's funny, but he goes after some really tired stuff when he's scrapping, and he's done a lot of that recently.

Finally, I love this article from The Classical. +1, indeed. Here's something else that is awesome from i09:

Some epic jokes and some awful junk probably slipped past. Point it out below, if you'd like.

Till tomorrow.

January 24 2012

The goods:
Sponsored by v8  - Sharp eyes, SbV8.
fat-leaveher
RMJ=H  This joke goes in a couple of different directions at once and uses [dying]'s multiple overlapping significances to great effect. The joke plays on the setup of a doctor asking a rude (or simply insensitive) question based on Paterno's appearance (the joke would work with any number of questions as a setup - that there actually is the resemblance is a tiny little joke-in-itself bonus) and the many meanings of the answer. [Dying] has currency as a possibly unexpected appreciation of the question, a description of his physical state, (and a particularly snarky way to point at it) and most importantly, concurrently pointing to [dying] as a uniquely Deadspin response. It relies on all these meanings operating in unison, and it operates well.
This joke is also unique in it that conjures a movie in your head of Paterno in bed being questioned by a doctor, but relies on text to work.
Finally, this is a Jenga joke. Take out any of the elements of the joke, and it falls apart. It would be tough to consciously assemble a joke with this level of intricacy and precision and, I assume it just popped into RMJ=H's head fully formed, and unfolded like a flower after the fact. +1.
More RMJ=H Everyone and their uncle used that text to make a joke, but RMJ=H's made me laugh the most.
Hit Bull Win Steak A joke that relies on the visual character of the text on the screen, the inherent connections between members of a restricted set, and, uh, cutting off Jerry Sandusky's balls.
A Pimp Named Dave R This is not a joke. It is possibly the least funny comment of the day, but it is not unfunny*. It adds intelligence to and elevates the comment section. I'm glad it is there.
Eddie Murray Sparkles
TravisHalf-Pronk - I'm imagining this being delivered completely deadpan by someone, who immediately moves on.

Of note:
fat-leaveher This kills me to point at this. This comment could have brought the house down. It wasn't unfunny, but, with a different, more artful delivery alluding to the symbolism of how Drake is perceived by his peers and the construction of a Drake's cake, as well as the existing puck reference, it could have been one of the best comments of the day. Argh, so much wasted potential.

The bads:

Ovechkin_from_Backstrom Read the prior comments. Certainly, use the same material, but don't just make the same joke.
*JustTheTippingPoint Now that is unfunny. That is a comment that just reeks of being desperate to say something about a rival school. Its construction is inelegant, it makes a dumb point, talks directly to the audience with that slashie shit at the end, and has a cheap and sneering tone. It is not just not funny, it is unfunny.
Cool Great reference. Remember that thing that was incongruous? Look, here it is. Look!

MedicatedWorldPeace  Wow, they're both "Pollards." Intense analysis. Got anything to say about Guided By Voices, while you're at it?  MedicatedWorldPeace didn't make the worst comment of the day, but this is far, far below the level of a starred commenter. In fact it was almost at tired as StuartScott'sEye's kilt joke. Woo boy, where did he come up with that humdinger?  Guys, do better.

Have a good one.

January 23 2012

Quiet day - where was everyone?
DubaiAtNight This is another one of those comments that takes a bit of random text, uses it out of the context of the original post to try to make something out of nothing. A lot of the time, these efforts fall into the grinding or grasping at straws category. Still, in this comment, it worked. The rest of the construction of the joke - by framing it as a "so ridiculous that it's almost plausible" Cirque du Soleil routine - made me smile. It wasn't a silk purse, but DubaiAtNight made a perfectly usable canvas tote bag from that sow's ear.
RubioForHerPleasure  Now, that's how you reply to a comment!
More Rubio  - This is a nice analogy. This guy is picking his spots.
SameSadEcho I keep saying I'm not wild about the rando-recontextualoso but this one made me smile too. Maybe I like asparagus, after all.
The4thMolinaBrother Zing (Sure, it's possible that Jay wanted a baby, what do I know?.) There were plenty of good jokes in that thread, this was a under appreciated. Decent contact from an unexpected source. The A's should sign him.
GamboaConstrictor I bet that hurt John Edwards' feelings, as it should.
TheodoreDonaldKerabatsos

The "Things That Killed Joe Paterno" post was chock full of fun. My favorite post of the day, comment-wise.
Poignant Theater Gottlieb's Cards Steve U Uwe Bollocks and iamthehorn all did something especially good.

ReverseApeChemist  When ReverseApeChemist is bad, he's terrible. When he's good, he does this. Nice.
Raysism
Steve U  Take one part geekery, one part sports knowledge, one part wordplay. Dissolve it in water, add ammonia, and then add some ether and shake it. Pipette the ether into a dish and let it evaporate. You'll be funny. Maybe not Richard Pryor funny, but close.



Crud:
Not 1, not 2, not 3... Aww man, why'd you have to go and do that? We had hopes for you.
Not 1, not 2, not 3...  I don't want to beat on this guy excessively, but this is just tripe. I think I get what's going on here, that Paterno is dead, and the idiots and jackals need someone - anyone to lash with blame, instead of accepting a less viscerally satisfying explanation.
Fist pound bro.
Boy, I really hope that there's more to this than the fact that the word analyst has "anal" in it. That can't be the joke, can it?

Adios!